put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My balls are so social today.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
