I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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