There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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