we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
