I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
