i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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