YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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