THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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