Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
