I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
