dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize