yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
