you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
