I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
