U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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