HIV tests are more positive than that guy
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
