i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
