apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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