dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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