And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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