wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
