Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I just put wine in my tea
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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