im six kinds of drunk right now
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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