did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
