dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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