I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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