Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
