I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
