I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
