mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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