you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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