dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
