i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
