our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
