If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
