Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
