Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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