What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
