theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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