If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Terrible idea I love it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
