Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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