Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
