i already hear my dad disowning me
I skipped work to stalk him.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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