I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
