I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize