y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
