I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
