Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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