Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
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