yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
