So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
this hospital has no fireball
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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