I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
