the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize