just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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