What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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