Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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