Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
