respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
