You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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