it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
