I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize