Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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