You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
