I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
