That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
