I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
