Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
