how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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