You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
