Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
