thus making me awesome and them whores
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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