Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize