So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
