I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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