theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize