so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
