girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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