Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
