Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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