So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
A bitchslap is in order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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