whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize