Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
