been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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