the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
